Kerry's Heroes

Kerry's Heroes

What a difference a week makes in politics and even more so in non-league football.

This time last week, the Merthyr Town Chancellor of the ex-cheque here, opened his little red box only to find that the cupboard was bare.

There was little money to pay the staff, the playing staff or our long standing friend -
Her Majesty's Inland Revenue.

It was hard to stomach, as in the national news was the leak of the Parasite Papers and the list of people who were doing everything possible to limit their tax bill, from Royalty to Pop Royalty whereas poor old Merthyr Town were struggling to pay their way as their status as a footballing club threatened becoming a reality.

Truly Non-League.

After an enforced Meuxit, a wind of 'change' blew through the Club, as some new heroes stepped forward out of the mist, begging like Sir Bob Geldof and Bono for your small coin donations for 'Live (Football) Aid' with a different 'demand' that the Club be demobbed from the runaway juggernaut corporate entity it had become and be returned to the frontline fan troops and local players that care about its present and it's future.

Kerry Morgan's Heroes.

And there they stood alongside their beleaguered Manager - SuperGav- who 48 hours earlier had been forced to do a reverse-Alan Hansen and field a development side against Chesham United, most of whom were too young to buy a National Lottery ticket.

Whilst these kids were 'United' they proved Sham 69 wrong and were defeated 13-1.

But there were no losers on that North London pitch, as the Incredible Pixar Cadets left the pitch they were greeted with Hero status by the hardcore travelling fans for having played an important part in the Merthyr Town story.

Football Troop - now shortened to F-Troop contained more Heroes than Cadbury World.

So the big question was who could the manager field against Dorchester on Saturday with his limited budget?

Semi-Professional Players being asked to play 'Pro-Bono' whilst Millionaire Rock Stars 'desired' not to help out their Community.....ask yourself would U2?

His initial line-up was scuppered , as both the cook and the cleaner went West with the prospect of more 'staff' cuts than Sir Ian McKellen filming the Lord of the Rings.

Step forward the Kerry's Heroes Tanc Division of Scott Tancock, Kyle 'Blood n Guts' Patton,
He-Man, Prince Adam Davies, Jarrad Wright Stuff, Harris the Merthyr Messi himself and
Jaye 'Oddball' Bowen amongst others too humble to be mentioned in the programme
( the sheets have no name)

With a special mention for Cameron Clarke volunteering to play in goal to help out the club even if it turned out to be a 'Crapgame'.

Now, I have nothing against the players that left- our 'hired guns', as they have financial commitments like Mortgages and Rent but the above players deserve our absolute admiration being the epitome of 'Martyrs to the Cause' refusing to run from our current economic 'minefield'.

And of course our prize asset, Ian Traylor, of whom I am told has recently become a father - making himself the second best 'dribbler' in the South Wales Valleys.

Although SuperGav drew the line, when Zimbabwean Robert Mugabe asked if the Honorary Presidential position was still available this week, as the Club was reported to be Owen Money.

Well onto the game that nearly wasn't- the 'Hardy Boys' of Dorchester came thinking Merthyr and it's non-lottery supported teenage players would 'roll-over' easily.

How wrong they were.

With the ranks of Kerry's Heroes swelled by the swift return of yet another volunteer, Corey Jenkins playing on a 'wing and a prayer' and led by the creativity of the leader on the pitch Kerry Morgan, Dorchester found Merthyr less 'accommodating' as Town possessed more than just 'Five Stars'.

On the 'field of dreams' the understanding between Kerry Morgan and Matthew Harris that comes from instinct rather than '3G square-bashing' was apparent, as was the ability of Traylor to ghost into situations that the SAS could not penetrate.

In front of more Bluebirds than a Vera Lynn record collection, it seemed that the social media hashtag appeal message #PackthePark been received- although with the number of
ex-policemen in the crowd I thought they had misread it as 'PorkthePark'.

It was the away team that took an undeserved lead just before halftime, when Dorchester got behind our missing right back for the only time in the game and Blake Davies put the Magpies luckily ahead just before the break.

Adam Davies should have known better than to try and quench his thirst by attempting to lick the near goal post for moisture on a freezing cold day.

Talk about dumb and dumber.

But he soon made up for it by toe poking the ball home after a wonder move by the team and a fine pass from Harris, as the Merthyr Warrior lofted the ball into 'no-mans land' at the heart of the Dorchester penalty box.

Not long after Kerry's Heroes had scored than the game became more heated with some
X-rated tackles from both sides, as the referee lost control for a time, especially one lunge on Scott Tancock that left his 'Cyril the Swan' shin pads without any feathers.

Although this particular Tanc Leader was worried he might have become 'Oddball' too.

And then came the moment the 900 souls (crew) fans had been waiting for.

Hammer Time.

The return to the playing arena of Manager Gavin Williams.

The man that has oozed class off the field this week oozed even more class on it.

With Merthyr players being told that due to budget cuts they could no longer have a pre-match meal at the Bristol M4 Severn View Services, SuperGav even offered to walk to away matches with Captain Ashley Evans agreeing to piggyback Curtis McDonald too ( as he had been carrying him all season anyway) as 'Aust' territory measures bit deep.

The much travelled Pentrebach midfield maestro showed why he has played at a much higher level, as he stroked the ball about with aplomb, seeming to have more time on the ball than the words Tag-Hauer

And Merthyr nearly ended the game with all three points, when the sleep-deprived Ian Traylor hit both posts with a late effort that refused to go in.

In the end, Kerry's Heroes had to settle for a point against a more than useful Dorchester side, whose quality belies their current league position.

Their huge number 5 at the back 'Portland Bill' was their rock and their 10 too looked lively.

Whilst it is hard to single out any one Merthyr player on today's performance, as Man of the Match- I would have to say it was Matthew Harris- who ran the show with his quality touch.

Although Ashley Evans gave his usual Club-estimated 120% and I was in awe with one move on the near side which 'strictly speaking' female fan, Debbie McGee could only explain as
'That's Magic'.

With the rescue fund up to an unbelievable £25K ( that's Gabbidon magic in there too) thanks to the 'Howling Success' of the efforts of Wolvesy's Park View Martyrs -it would be nice to leave the Tax-Man a Kerry's Heroes style message on the wall of the Treasury.

'Achtung Up yours Baby'- well at least for another season.

Or alternatively register Merthyr Town in West Wales as a Milford Tax Haven?

Any other suggestions?

Boz

I got the second word of the title right.

Half a point....you may make detective one day....make sure you don't confuse Dane Terrace with Dane Street.....Boz