Bank (Holiday) Robbery at Cirencester

Bank (Holiday) Robbery at Cirencester

Can someone tell me the phone number for Crime-stoppers? , as I wish to report a robbery that I witnessed at the Corinium Ground today.

The chief suspect was diminutive , was dressed all in black and possessed a whistle.

His accomplices were similarly attired called Roy Orbison and Andrea Boccelli - both believed to be from the Gloucester area.

Rumour has it he is from the Hereford and known to be over familiar with root vegetables.

It is thought by some that 'Dick Turnip' was holed up in the aptly named 'Highwayman' Inn that I passed on the way to the M5 heading back to Wales.

I hope he decides to switch to carrots after today's performance.

Now regular readers of this Forum, will know that I rarely complain about the standard of the refereeing, as these guys give up their Bank Holiday time to be constantly booed and sworn at from both sets of supporters.

However, today I must make an exception.

My expectations from amateur officials are simple:-

1. Ensure no player from either side leaves the field with a broken bone that prevents the players from going to their real jobs on Monday Morning.

2. Let sport be sport and ensure that fair play prevails.

3. Get the majority of BIG decisions correct.

Today, our referee had more of a shocker than poor John Coffey in the film the Green Mile.

He got NONE of the BIG decisions right.

How, he did not give a penalty for the assault in the box on Ian Traylor was beyond me.

He had an unrestricted view of the incident in which a player that had tried all game to stay on his feet ( unlike certain players in the Home side who were like Bambi on Ice)' dribbled round and through players and not once complained about the treatment he received.

Why would a player with a full goal to aim for , behind the defence , go down with just the keeper to beat?

But to add insult to injury (I hope he is okay for Saturday) by booking Traylor for a dive was unbelievable.

This - bearing in mind that a home player ducked head down into a first half challenge with the Prossiah and then rolled around as if he had been given his own 'Crown of Thorns'- when in fact, he didn't even dislodge any dandruff.

Speaking of dandruff, the number 6 who was an exponent of the Peter Kay School of defending , was 'heads and shoulders' above our Saviour- principally because all game he was pushing down on them.

He may have been carrying more timber than Ham, Shem & Japheth, but used his considerable weight to his advantage against the Holy Beard - but was he once penalised for it?

The simple answer can be illustrated by flapping both your hands in a line below the waist like you are waving to your feet.

But the worst one of all was the foul on Ryan Green immediately before their goal.

The attacker jumped straight into Green turning the mild mannered Captain into the Incredible Hulk - as he questioned why he was the subject of an assault which was not penalised but any strong breeze in the direction of a Centurion was met by a swift whistle.

If Ancient Soldiers went over so easily then Jupiter help the Roman Empire.

Perhaps they were all suffering from Legionnaires Disease ...who knows...but enough Beau Gueste-ing on the subject.

To paraphrase Monty Python today....what exactly have the Romans done for us?

Taught us that at £4.50 - sausage and chips is hardly 'worth their salt'?

That the Centurion beer sold at their ground was in fact straight from an aqueduct?

That to win a free kick - the team 'as a man' had to Hail Caesar and roll around like Sir Larry in Spartacus?

No- they taught us that to win in this league - you don't need to be any good.

That you can grind out three points at home against better footballing sides.

That there is no team in this league that we need fear ( only the officials themselves).

That theatre is more important than entertainment - the Fall and Fall of the Roman Empire?

That away travelling and 'Magor' hold ups on motorways win more games than skill ever will?

On a positive note, once again I thought Adam Davies had a great game at right back- even if he was marking what appeared to be his Dad for much of the game.

Kerry Morgan, Corey and Jay Bowen all tried in vain to inject flair and creativity into the side with their fifteen minutes of fame but to no avail.

In truth, Merthyr were having a Rory McIntyre day - way below par.

But Man of the Match today for me was the referee - who definately had the biggest influence on the scoreline.

I don't know if he was of Roman or Greek Origin - as he was carried out of the ground on the first leg of his Odyssey to his house in a sedan chair.

But after today's showing....he was definately a 'Homer'.

Let's hope this weekends referee has the surname Simpson too.

Boz

At game today,disappointed with result considering we had enough possesion to choke a donkey!!!
At this level of football away from home we must finish some the chances we create..

Regarding todays officials one word disgraceful.

Last Saturdays ref.would do for me thought he had a good game.

rustic wrote:Last Saturdays ref.would do for me thought he had a good game.

Agree, Rustic. Thought the Ref on Saturday was very good.
The only other Ref that spring to mind that has a good game at PP in the last couple seasons, was the lady Ref we had at the end of last season (or was it the season before). The memory goes when you get north of 50!