Bishops Finger.

Bishops Finger

As it was a Bank Holiday, I thought I would treat myself to a pint of beer for each home goal we scored.

Unfortunately, my bladder and 'prostrate' gland as they say in the Gurnos couldn't keep pace with the Merthyr players on the pitch.

The Prossiah started the rout by proving that despite it being Easter, he had lost none of his vitality since Saturday , when he 'rose' to the occasion by 'rolling' the ball away from their keeper and into the corner of the net much to the dismay of their Bishops Cleve Assistant Manager Lightstone.

The second came when Traylor , not to be outdone by the Holy Beard , swerved and dribbled his way through the entire Bishops defence to plant the ball passed the despairing Keeper Benbow - proving he could be the 'Lord of the Dance' too when the occasion arises.

Traylor's second came when he caught their defender trying to play the ball out of defence.

The defender had committed a 'Cardinal sin' as he was not used to playing with our semi deflated footballs- he was not much of an umbro man - preferring a 'mitre' on his head instead.

The Prossiah at this time of year , you would have expected to be hanging around for the crosses, but for a tall man he possesses a deft touch and a deadly finish, 'nailing ' it in off the woodwork.

But it was not our strikers that were running the show, but our midfield general M. C ex- 'Hammer' .

Gavin 'Geppetto' Williams was pulling all the strings and had a 'hand ' in creating most of the goals for the front two.

Kayne too was at his best by unselfishly being the 'font' of all creativity on the left flank, sprinting past their right back that had clearly eaten too many eggs this Easter.

Their number 2 may have looked like Paul McGrath of Man United fame , but he played like Rory McGrath, as he kept scuffing air shots, where the ball had been every time Kayne had outpaced him to reach the byline.

Halftime came with the score a respectable 4-0 , with the young Bishops Cleeve 'village people's 'only respite in the first half coming from hoofing the ball over the stand in the direction of the former 'YMCA'.

The second half started as the first half ended with a 'Calvary Charge' from the Goalgotha positioning of the Prossiah, carefully positioned behind his two front men with only the woodwork 'denying' three times on further scores.

It was then the turn of McGlaggon to put his 'marks' on the game.

By the time he had got his brace, the regulars from the Twynyrodyn pubs were preaching how good a forward line we have- the 'Sermon from the Mount' only ended when the Susan Boyle lookalike next to me started singing.

It got so bad that Referee Mark Russell raised his hands in the air like a cricket umpire , when we scored our sixth.

On our seventh 7th the crowd of 1500 , like me were merrily ready to celebrate and 'paint' the Town red....after the Harris Matt finish.

Bladder bursting with beer , I risked malaria to head for the mosquito coast that passes for our Theatre End Al fresco toilet.

Whilst moving the leaves in the drain without taking my hands from my pockets, I could still hear the crowd was cheering each touch the Merthyr players made as they outclassed the struggling Cleeve outfit, ole, ole, ole,ole rang around the Park with Guillermo Bauza translating for the happy intestinal Chairman.

It was worrying though for the Gloucesterites when it reached Gunnar and then Solksjaer too as we played keep- ball for ten minutes as I finally stopped urinating.

Not only that but the Holy Man of the Match , the Prossiah's ability to hang in the air , was proving a real 'thorn' in the side of the Bishops Cleeve defence, as he was not only a head , and shoulders crown above the Gloucestershire outfit but a crown too.

It was a really impressive Easter Rising from the Striker.

By the time the deflected Summerfield goal went in ...the match was 'Dan and dusted' as a contest.

It was nice to see our 'Young Player of the year -elect' get his name deservedly on the scoresheet- .

As for Bishops Cleeve, their number 8 had a good game and played some lovely passes in midfield which is not easy when you are being hunted down by the Daggerman Kris Leek.

But their finishing in the few chances they created was woeful with one effort hit so high over the bar - the only person interested in signing the forward was 'Balloon Artistry'.

If it wasn't for their keeper Benbow who made some spectacular saves- the Merthyr score would have been in double figures .

He acquitted himself 'admirably' and late one had a personal duel with fan's favourite Kerry Morgan , who he kept out on three occasions but inevitably conceded the ninth when distracted by his defender 'Blind Pew' in the closing minutes.

The Bishops Cleeve manager Craig Charles, would be the first to admit that the lack of height in their red-kitted team and the fact that his 'red dwarf' team had given Merthyr too much 'space' had contributed to their downfall.

To their credit the Bishops youngsters didn't give up until the final whistle and sportingly made a 'wormhole' tunnel to applaud the league champions off the Park.

They didn't Cleeve empty handed either- as these boys can tell future generations that they have played at the Welsh Valley Wembley in front of 1500 fans - a crowd bigger than most Conference teams and an Owen Money pantomime.

The Party in the Park may have been cancelled this year....but I suspect that the Prossiah won't be the only one to hit the bar tonight.

I suspect the Bennettorial Army will too.

It will be a 'miracle' if after this performance and the subsequent celebration they all 'rise' for work tomorrow morning'

And Ryan Prosser won't be 'Pope-ular ' in Bishops Cleeve tomorrow either.


Boz

Better than a poke in the eye with a big stick.

I was just glad you weren't sick all over my back as you said you might be....:-)

No hairy one....I said thanks for the use of your hoodie....I assume it didn't rain on the way home then....Boz

Boz1964 wrote:No hairy one....I said thanks for the use of your hoodie....I assume it didn't rain on the way home then....Boz

Lol, no it didn't. I'll make sure to wear my hoodie at all home games from now on...