Good Friday to BlueMonday

From a Good Friday to a Blue Monday.

There is a New Order at the Met Coaches Stadium, Penydarren Park in Merthyr Tydfil,
with the footballing World in motion, crowd numbers up and a far superior standard of play on the pitch compared to last season in this ‘joy division’.

One thing is certain though, after todays showing, the love of Merthyr Town
will tear us apart again.

To use an oxymoron * the Martyrs have been consistently inconsistent at Home this season and yet bizarrely -attendances have been climbing week on week.

*Boz note for Ownes- I am not referring to those Spanish idiots that run with the bulls in Pamplona.

Is Merthyr full of Masochists or is ‘Brand Merthyr Town’ on the up due to the hardworking efforts of the Volunteer Board ?

The answer is I fear , probably a bit of both - but today against Yate Town - we got to see the re-emergence of Mr Hyde rather than just what the Doctor ordered.

In fairness, with Merthyr not likely to qualify for the play -offs but thankfully not involved in another relegation scrap (unlike today’s opponents who have both studded boots impaled upon the trapdoor to Step 4 Level Martyrs Manager, Paul, ‘The Saint’ Michael decided he would use this ‘non-event’ to test the quality of his multitudinous substitutes and do a little bit of Spring pruning in the process.

The ‘Squad Game’ if you like - decided by a series of ‘red light’ , ‘green light’ to determine which of his back-up players were no longer a good ‘bet’ and those who simply can’t cut it at this level of football and deserve a different ‘Korea’ move via a transfer to Barry Town in the close season.

After today’s performance, he must have realised that at Southern Premier League level you need not only good footballing feet but a good footballing Brain too and it took only two minutes for such ‘cerebral’ talent to come to the fore.

A wonder strike from Owen Brain * put the Martyrs ‘a head’ - a frontal lob (e) that nestled in the top bins passed young Bluebell keeper, Louis ( Evans above?) for an early lead.

*Boz note two for Ownes- not a Mensa Pawnbroker

And it should have been two for the Home Team, after Number 4 Jamie Adams got into the box but committed the cardinal sin of using power rather than accuracy troubling the dead rather than the living by lifting the ball high into the Theatre End Memorial Garden.

With Craig Reddy having difficulties finding the lost ball as it had become hidden in plain sight- lodged above the letter i in R.I.P.

Just like Merthyr at home, the South Walian weather was inconsistent, it alternated between gale force wind, hail, rain and sunshine but to the credit of the Bluebells in the little Valleys Town where viagra was invented, they refused to droop or let their spirits sag- after all their incentive was to get one over on their old manager and show their current boss that they could still play football despite most of their better players following their former manager to the Land of Footballing Poetry
(& Off-key Terrace ) Songs.

‘Ricky…my arse’ said Tomlinson, as he upset the Pontypool Royal Family by slamming the equaliser past Martyrs Keeper,Fuller, with a screamer from outside the box on 20 minutes.

1-1 and it had only taken the Home Team less than a quarter of the game to revert to type.

The Saint on the sidelines scratching his OFSTED induced greying locks to come up with a solution to the illogical pattern of winning away and losing at home.

Next home game, his latest cunning Baldrick plan is to make the Merthyr players use the Away dressing room instead.

One thing that did improve was the Lance Armstrong (dead ball) service from young Aberdare Blackadder, Alex John- today he regularly found his intended targets from corners but our faltering forwards seemed less likely to strike than Junior Doctors, Nurses, Train Drivers and Barristers.

Half time came with the impressive Full Back Noah Smerdon comparing shampoo notes with Yate 10 Liban ‘Crab Man’ Ibrahim who clearly goes to the same hair stylist.

Together with Welsh Rugby’s Adam Jones, Duncan Jones and the rest of the
Hanna-Barbera series.

In the second half,it was the Bluebells that began to blossom , as Merthyr tried to force the game leaving bigger gaps at the back for much traveled Yate Striker
‘ Kyle ‘Kardashian’ Tooze’ to try and exploit.

The puzzled look on the face of the ‘Saint’ was yet another Truth Rendell mystery when his opposite number John shouted ‘Tooze Up’.

Fortunately, the protruding derrière of the forward was ruled offside by the VAR lines drawn on the 4G pitch by the Pontypool Teacher in training, which assisted linesman, Michael Halford.

Merthyr huffed and they puffed like an emphysema suffering collier but couldn’t tiptoe through the bunch of bluebells.

The Raison of course was former Martyr Toby *who was back on his old stomping ground and proving a bullish point.

*Boz note 3 for Ownes- shame we couldn’t run that particular Hereford Bull.

And then on 75 minutes , the visitors got a second their brave performance so deserved.

It came from their most consistent player Calum Dinsley, who fired home the rebound - with his woad enhanced blue legs that looked like they had been borrowed from a Yate Nursing Home - after an earlier athletic save from Fuller had kindly fallen into the path of the Avatar.

2-1 to Yate with the visitors keeping their Kate Moss-like hopes of Southern Premier League football survival alive for another week.

The final whistle blew with the Saint and his on-field sinners disappointed at yet another loss to a bottom feeder at home.

The New Order having to ‘face-up’ that changes in personnel over the Summer are inevitable-subject of course to some limited budgetary finances that even Chancellor Jeremy  Hunt would baulk at.

But Martyrs fans must see a vast improvement on last season both on and off the pitch and must retain their ‘True Faith’ if we are to survive and grow.

We need to ‘hang around’ if you are’Hooked’ with this Joy Division - as the New Order are here to stay - and despite our tone-deaf terrace choir - let’s hope we can reach number one in the charts and make sweet music together next season.

Both ‘ I an Curtis’ ( my son) can feel an FACup final song coming on.

Boz

Ian Curtis of Joy Division died in 1980, aged 23. Not that I was a fan.

Whatever you do don’t type into Google how Joy Division got their name either.

Even more depressing than a mere Blue Monday.

Boz

Yes, I was very careful !!!