Bunfight at the ( Loadl) OK Corral

Easter Bunfight at the (Loadl) OK Corral.

You don't always get what you deserve in life and the match between Merthyr Town and their Western counterparts, Frome Town today was a classic illustration.

In a thoroughly entertaining game of Westworld football, the two sides played out a thrilling shootout last witnessed in the Gunfight at the OK Corral.

Like all Westerns there has to be a hero and a baddie dressed in black.

No prizes for guessing who that was.

Blinder than a pit pony emerging from underground after two decades, Why That Twerp?- the Sheriff of Bishops Cleeve seemed to be running around in blinkers, as the visitors did more hacking than a Sun newspaper journalist.

If he was being assessed today he certainly wouldn't have got five stars on his FIFA pin Badge.

And his topiaried side-burned linesman was not much better, as Mr Burns from Springfield turned into a comic character, as he gave throw-ins to the wrong teams on a regular basis.

But as a spectacle for fans of non-league football, seven goals and a replay of the 'good, the bad and the ugly' was well worth the miserly Ten Pound entrance fee.

Yes, 'for a few dollars more' you could watch Cardiff City's inevitable promotion to the Premiership ( or even sign for Hereford) but who wants to watch a winning side, when Merthyr's matches this season go down to the wire more than an episode of 24?.

Quickest on the draw was Swansea Sharpshooter, Owain Jones who fired off a shot whose bullet ricocheted off the inside of the woodwork and back safely into the arms of away keeper Kyle Phillips.

At the other end,  Frome were looking like they had their own lethal weapon in the shape of the pacy 11, Josh Brace.

It was only the cool head of Eddie the Kid, in the Merthyr Goal that stopped Frome from opening  their account on at least three occasions inside the opening ten minutes.

Very early in the game, I was asked by young supporter Morgan (who didn't possess a pocket watch) what was the time- so he could inform his Mother, I was able to confirm that it was 3:10 to Yuma or to put it another way, the big hand was on the three and the little hand was on the ball, as the impressive Hewitson was busy spectacularly turning the ball around the hitching post for a corner.

As the corner was cleared, the ball found its way up the Merthyr prairie to Owain Jones, who thought that it was Christmas come early, as he gave the Frome keeper no chance with his second shot, as the West World Yule Bryniau 'replicated' his wonder-goal against Dorchester Town.

Another screamer for his CV....I hope someone got it on their phone for poor Gordon Awty who was busy working and missed it.

But whilst the Robins had been knocked off their perch, they refused to lay down and die in the dust.

They hit back less than four minutes later, when the patron saint of lost causes, Mitchell Page of Frome, chased down a ball and hit an accurate ball from the byline which was met by the on-rushing 'Little Joe' Raynes, who buried the ball in 'Boot Hill' past the young stopper.

It was soon 2-1, as the swift raid on the Merthyr Stagecoach by the Frome forward line ended in    
their second and Josh's Brace.

The 'Bonanza' shootout continued apace and Merthyr got their equaliser, after a superb ball in from the jingling 'Spurs' of Adam Davies, which picked out the 'ten-gallon head' of Ryan Prosser, who slammed the ball into the net.

The rest of the first half was played out at a breathless pace and at breakneck speed with Corey Jenkins reminding us it was Easter with his hot cross runs.

As I entered the 'saloon' at halftime, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I had won the 50/50 draw for the first time ever and after giving young Morgan an early 16th birthday present resolved to put a bid in for our Club ownership, as I was now 'Romans' Abramovitch.

After following Merthyr since 1977,  I realised I did a quick calculation and realised that I am only around £5K down on the deal.

As the second half kicked off, Merthyr decided to adopt the Israeli West Bank policy of shooting to kill.

The third Home Goal came from the cowboy boots of Jarrad Wright, after his first shot was blocked by the corner flag, he put in the rebound passed Phillips for the lead.

As he slid on his remaining knee cartilage towards the Merthyr Musical Troupe , the Merthyr Noise,  he found himself surrounded by brave natives, just like he was at the Battle of Little Big Horn.

Even if could no longer could hear the sound of 'distant drums'.

But as the incessant rain eased,  the overflowing Bath outfit seemed to cope better once that the shower had been turned off.

Used to playing on a turnip patch at home, they suddenly took advantage of a level playing field.

They were unwittingly assisted by the Merthyr Management, who changed the home posse taking off Butch Prosserdy and replacing him with the Sundance Kid.

Suddenly, ' Frome drops were raining on our heads', as the Away side scored from a corner as they decided to 'Hang 'Em High' and centre half Marcus Mapstone found his way to the back post and guided his header on Net- Nav over the lowly Hewitson  to Somerset Level the game.

Sadly, whilst the 'Newman' is skilful, he was unable to hold the ball up like the Prossiah and the result was the ball kept being returned to the Merthyr Half like it was on a swing-ball.

There was certainly no Mendip in form from Frome, as their baseball capped Manager,
Lee Nelson tried hard to offer another P45.

And Frome got their undeserved match winner after referee Twerp and Dalton Gang linesmen,  despite spotting that the outstanding Harris had turned into 'Hopalong', allowed midfielder Jon Davies and Josh Brace to ride shotgun and fire both barrels passed the teenage goalkeeper for the winner.

Clearly there was a need for a new Sheriff in Town.

As the final whistle blew, the Players looked dejected and the Home Fans directed their anger towards the inconsistencies of the officials.

The Home Fans tempers were boiling over, as their seats turned into 'Blazing Saddles', as old farts made a stink about some of the more dubious on-field decisions.

It was a game in which Merthyr had once again shown 'True Grit' but had ridden off into the sunset too early  just before the closing credits.

With Merthyr just shading the High Noon shootout....it was cruel on the Home Side to take yet another bullet in the back,  in a game that was quick and should have resulted in a draw.

But all credit to the Robins, they stuck at it and pulled out their reward from the 3G pitch.

The players put in a great performance all over the park today with Prosser being restored to his brilliant best, Adam Davies putting in some pinpoint crosses and Matthew Harris stretching and cutting out some great moves by a very capable Away Side.

But Man of the Match for me was Owain 'Jones, who was sporting his new 'Tulio' goatee and on another day would have had a hat-trick.

The path to El Dorado beckons for the youngster.

He is pure 24 carat footballing gold.

We may have lost the Bunfight at the Corral due to our lack of bread but it is essential we keep as many of our existing talented players as possible for next season .

Especially if they have a 'Bounty' on their heads.

Boz