Unlucky Magpies

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Post  Boz1964 on Sat Nov 24, 2018 5:57 pm

Unlucky Magpies

Not everything in life is black n white.

However, fortunately Merthyr Town's Home Kit still is.

And today, there was no risk of a colour clash, as they were lined up against Wessex outfit, Wimborne Town currently celebrating their highest ever league status, who were clad in bright DUP orange.

I have fond memories of our 'away wim' in the Minster a couple of seasons ago, as my late Uncle Granville Morris devoured two monster beef burgers at the Cuthbury Stadium inside two minutes to replenish the stomach contents the notoriously poor traveller had lost on the way down to Wessex.

That was the best 5p he had ever spent on an Asda Carrier Bag.

Now I knew after the miraculous events of Tiverton Tuesday, that the standard of football was bound to drop, and I would happily accept a scrappy 1-0 win to cement our play-off position with a lucky win over the visiting Magpies hopefully on the cards.

But whilst I didn't anticipate that a team from the lower echelons of our league would be a bunch of Wessex 'Wim-ps', I hadn't expected King Ethelred's Boys to be so 'ready' or so 'Hardy' either.

They certainly weren't half- baked.

In fact , they proved more difficult to break down than the tartar on Pogues' Singer,
Shane MacGowan's teeth.

They stuck to their formation and defended as a unit, with goalkeeper
'Brigadier' Gerard Benfield organising his defence with military precision, just like he was the Director of Bovington Tank Museum.

He had an outstanding game in Wales , clad in his mauve goalie shirt and flanked by fraternal
team mates, Luke & Tobias and Manager Matty, it was amazing how many times he saved Holmes from 'Cym' Misery with his impression of a Purple Brick.

The visitors however, knew they were in for a difficult fixture when in the wake of the recent Salisbury Spy scandal they were asked to produce evidence of their 'Wimborne Identity' before they were allowed to play.

That was after a delay on the M4 following several car crashes that saw the Magpies arriving late at the Met Coaches Community Stadium.

Referee Andy Shephard didn't help the Away team either, as he had decided to forsake the coin toss in support of fellow banned referee David McNamara, replacing it with a version of rock, paper & scissors.

But then again it would probably be wise not to call 'heads' against Captain Marble anyway.

Once the game had started it soon developed into a war of attrition, with the Holy Beard,
Ryan Prosser leading the line, holding up play, bringing players into the game and spinning and turning like a finalist on Strictly Come Dancing.

Running the left hand wide channel was Ian Southern League 'Golden 3G Dap' -elect Traylor, with the flank nearest the old Pontmorlais Job Centre ( the 'Road to El Dole-rado ) covered by Owain 'Tulio' Jones.

They tormented the Wimborne full backs for a full 45 minutes - but to their credit they didn't yield one inch.

The dour first half ended goalless with both defences on top with Patten & McDonnell proving as miserly as their counterparts Davidson & Oldring.

Wimborne did have the ball in the net just before the break when Tobias Holmes broke free but it was fated to be offside by the officials.

It was not meant Toby.

After the break, Merthyr tried to match the Wimborne Fan Drummer and up the tempo.

So too the skill level.

Midfielder Keiran Lewis turned on a Stefan Penny , and executed a series of Cruyff turns that threatened to ruffle the Magpie feathers, but no matter what there was no beating the Brigadier.

Like all good keepers, his anticipation and positioning was excellent, he used every part of his body to block the goal and just like his opposite number Joe Perry made several outstanding saves to keep the score level.

On the eve of a three-match suspension for handling outside the penalty box, Merthyr Town keeper Perry had been given top of the range spec multi-coloured boots that were supposed to beep and light up every time he approached the edge of the penalty box.

Unfortunately for Joe, they had been programmed by technophobe 'kit' man, Barry Thomas, so the Mitre 'Knight Rider' boots weren't working properly and only flashed when he crossed the halfway line when Merthyr were on the attack.

However, Barry has promised to get the other Ex-Perry Mental pair, our keeper used against Tiverton taken in 5 sizes, so Wee Ed Hewitson can wear them on his return for the Hendon game.

It was no surprise then that when the deadlock was finally broken , it came from the lethal tattooed feet of goal machine Ian Traylor.

He was helped in part by the inaccuracy of the passing of left back Joe Hunt.

Hunt kept hitting booming passes into no man's land, confusing the Wimborne defence as to the whereabout positions of the Merthyr attacking players.

Thses ingenious tactics , lulled opposition full back Paddy Hester into a false sense of social security on the Road to El Dole-rado, as one pass accidentally found Ian Traylor, who managed to get goal side and a 'racing certainly' for a goal, as he finally beat the outstanding
'Brigadier Gerard' on the flat.

As the Merthyr players celebrated wildly, it was a little unlucky for the Maggies, as the defence had been impeccable for nigh on 69 minutes.

But like any 69 , it only takes one slip and you're in the shit.

Wimborne redoubled their attacking efforts and had the writer sitting on the edge of both of his seats on more than one occasion, until substitute winger Kerry Morgan settled the Home nerves with a late second low and hard passed the Brigadier, after some excellent off the ball running from the local hero.

Let's hope the May Brexit Deal agreed with the EU Commission doesn't stop such free movement.

In the end, it was an excellent three points and the bonus of a clean sheet too.

A little unfortunate for Wimborne and their resolute defence but I was mightily relieved to see that second Morgan effort hit the back of the net.

A little unlucky on the Magpies but at least it gives me something to 'crow' about and there will be no 'Stour' grapes.



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