The Pearl ( of Beaconsfield)

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The Pearl ( of Beaconsfield) Empty The Pearl ( of Beaconsfield)

Post  Boz1964 on Sat Oct 20, 2018 2:18 pm

The Pearl (of Beaconsfield)

As I opened my bedroom curtains this morning, the first thing I could see was the
Met  Coaches Community Stadium, home of Merthyr Town FC radiant  in the Autumn Sunshine.

There was something else too, drawing me towards my spiritual home at Penydarren Park.

Was it the beautiful smell of the award winning Sunday dinners wafting through the air?

What exactly was that glow in the sky above the stadium?

Was it the lure of the Premier Wedding and Conference Centre in the 'Pearl' of the Valleys calling  me to book a function?

No- the glow signified that we had a home match v 'Beacon'-field and I had to hotfoot it to the hub of community football in South Wales, to watch a set of local lads take on a team of giants from the Greater London Area,  in anticipation of live football and the fan camaraderie that Non-League is now steeped in.

Forget your Premiership prima donnas and foreign legion of paid Arabian mercenaries that make the title race less one-sided , than a visit to a Turkish consulate, and come and support your local postmen , bankers and journalists in a 90 minute contest with a team from a club of equal stature and little money.

Today, the Martyrs took on the Rams with three points and more importantly footballing bragging rights on offer for the winners.

As Beaconsfield were led out by their Captain Callum Webb, I was beginning to think I had come to the home of Merthyr RFC by mistake.

The Rams looked like the New Zealand Rugby Team, with several individuals looking more solid than a Donald Trump Mexican Wall.

Beaconsfield FC are from one of the most affluent counties in South East England, with more millionaire homes than the judges off the X-Factor, positioned in the London green belt- so this team of 'Big Bucks' have big bucks.

The English Rams came down to lock horns with the Valley Rams but with their size advantage it was more like sheep against lambs.

They had a lethal combination up front of the muscular Alex Cathline (9)
( my plastic stadium seat shook as he passed by) and the pace of Anthony Mendy (10) as they put the Martyrs back line under much pressure straight from the kickoff.

With Kyle Patten suspended after the 'poison pen' incident of Salisbury, Town were fortunate to call upon a ready replacement in Jarrad Wright to partner newbie Craig McDonnell at the big heart of Merthyr.

With Wright now restored to his natural position, there followed a battle of elbows between the Buckingham forwards and Merthyr backs not witnessed since the Sylvester Stallone film
'Over the Top'.

But Beaconsfield weren't just a physical side, they had some lovely passing moves too, with midfielder Charlie Losasso very influential.

Their attacking flair in the first half resulted in local dish, Bajram Pashaj, striking the foot of the upright and the rest of the Beaconsfield team hitting more wood than John Holmes in his prime.

With Buckingham Town being the birthplace of such glitterati as children's author,
Enid Blyton, former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, and dementia-suffering writer of Discworld, Terry Pratchitt -it was fitting that Merthyr had its own character with
similar combined qualities.

I refer of course to local boy and fans favourite, Kerry Morgan, who is truly a footballing genius, when it comes to 'Noddying' the ball on and making defenders 'Dizzy', whilst occasionally losing his mind with the odd tackle.

Whilst never likely to feature on a linesman's Christmas Card list, our diminutive wing wizard is held in such high regard by the Merthyr public, that in a vote, his face would be chosen ahead of Mrs Thatcher to feature on the new £50.00 note- which might become a reality, if Wrexham ex-footballer Mickey Thomas ever gets a job at the Royal Mint in Llantrisant.

With Merthyr playing a high defensive line and a dangerous game, it was a relief to hear referee Rob Cockle blow his own whistle for half-time with the score level.

My nerves had become more shredded than a Banksy painting.

Speaking of artists- the second half belonged to the Beaconsfield keeper Constable.

If ever one man can win a match on his own it was him.

The Jamaican-born stopper was outstanding, making more saves than a Christian Minister, as he genuflected ( Ownes your word of the week) after each minor miracle- as he put the
Jah into Jamaica.

The goalkeeper commanded his Ten 'Yardie' line with aplomb, hitting the ball out of the
wind-rushing air like he was on an Aylesbury Duck Shoot.

If only Theresa May had this pinnacle of strong and Con-stable Government onside- then there would be no need for extra-time in European matches.

You had a sense that it was to be the young keepers day when he won the 50/50 halftime draw and raffle prize too.

Time and again, he foiled the in-form Tom Meechan and the restored again Pontypridd Saviour, as the pair searched hard for a breakthrough goal.

One goal was always likely to steal the points and that came against the second half run of play, after Beaconsfield substitute Matthew , produced some New Testament stuff and danced his way into the Merthyr penalty box, rounded Joe Perry and slid the ball in for what proved to be the winning goal.

At the other end, Captain Ashley Evans fell over in the box- Hartley Wintney style- but Referee Cockle simply buried his head in the sand.

Merthyr tried hard to get back into the game, even bringing on the Gaffer to try and get an equaliser, but despite blowing more dust off his magic boots than they found in Tutankhamen's tomb, it was not written in the stars.

It was hard on Merthyr, who whilst being second best in the first half, deserved something for the efforts for their 90 minute gutsy performance- especially with Connor Young shining so brightly.

If only the near sided linesman's VAR enhanced tonsure hadn't glowed pink to signify offside for a Tom Meechan bullet header, then the result may have been different, but luck and a home win continues to elude SuperGav & Clarkie, despite another decent performance, which must leave the pair scratching their head more times than a Romany Barber.

If ever a Prime 'Minister' deserves the title of the Pearl of Beaconsfield it is Ravan Constable.

Tonight all fans - home or away who watched the match will agree on one thing.

Exactly who was the toast of Two Towns.


Last edited by Boz1964 on Sun Oct 21, 2018 1:37 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Hallucinogenic Drugs)

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