From a Jack to a King.

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Post  Boz1964 on Sun Apr 15, 2018 10:26 am

From a Jack to a King

Spring was in the air today, for the visit of perennial overachievers Hertfordshire village team, Kings Langley to Merthyr Town.

And it wasn't just a vernal change in temperatures that I refer to but the athleticism of some of our tiny but sporting heroes.

Whilst he may be one of the smallest players in our squad, Kerry Morgan certainly has come on 'leaps and bounds' this season, whilst possessing the 'Big Heart' of Merthyr Town beating black n white in his chest.

His performances in the last two matches have been nothing short of exceptional and it always amazes me how many headers (above skirting board height) that he manages to win from the opposition given his diminutive stature.

It proves that technique and impeccable timing, coupled with the element of surprise can sometimes win the day.

In similar fashion, how else do you explain the first headed goal scored by Captain Marble direct from a corner?

There was less than 60 seconds on the clock for stadium announcer, George VI from Mumbles to give his 'Kings Speech' and declare the first Merthyr goal to have been scored by Michael Owen.

As the Royal defence looked around at each other to try and determine who had 'abdicated' responsibility by not marking Ashley Evans, kit man Barrie Thomas sheepishly hid the stepladder that he had been using earlier to paint the crossbar with.

Whilst there wasn't a dark 'cloud' in the blue sky, there was one in the shape of 'Hair Bear Bunch' enthusiast Langley number 5, Jorell Johnson, as from where I was sitting, the former Watford man looked was being followed everywhere on the pitch by a swarm of hornets.

Now, if not conceding a goal in the first minute of an away game doesn't 'sting' you - just wait until you eat our post-match meal and travel four hours back on a hot football coach with no indoor toilet.

A 'pheasant' experience it is not, as whilst the food may be fit for a King, going so far from the 'Throne' and the inevitable 'Royal Wee' is likely to lead to an uncomfortable journey, especially if your side does a Richard Osman impression and returns home with your head in the 'clouds' and completely 'pointless'.

But whilst this end of season game may have looked like the Away Side were just
'going through the motions' (that would come much later) the pain of losing to any committed sportsman still 'Herts'.

In recent matches between these two sides, Langley have shown their tenacity earning the title of the 'Comeback Kings' in coming back from being dead and buried more times than an extra in an episode of the Walking Dead.

But it could and possibly would have been a totally different game if it hadn't been for our inspirational young keeper.

As the away side suddenly hit a purple patch ( no -before you say it again Ownes - it was not - Ed's Ribena spill) but were thwarted by the smart handling of Ed Hewitson, who firstly turned a fierce shot against the bar and then against all odds saved a penalty from Kings Langley midfielder Steve Ward.

Now I am beginning to smell a rat as no-one this young could possibly be THIS good.

My latest conspiracy theory is that our teenage stopper must have gone 'Big' , after playing the Zoltar speaks 'Ring of Fire' fairground game at Barry Island near Cardiff.

My suspicions were confirmed, as in the place of Shaggy the Sheep or Martha the Zebra Martyr, a fully clad adult dressed as a childlike figure emerged from the players tunnel catching hands with Kerry Morgan.

Talk about trading places.

Now as Kings Langley full back Jung will confirm, psychology plays a 'Big' part in determining whether a penalty is scored or missed.

In this case, it wasn't scored or missed.

It was SAVED.

And some save it was too.

Tom Hanks, sorry Ed Hewitson showed the Kings Langley Penalty taker where he wanted him to put it.

Standing on the line, cutting a more pathetic figure than Mark Lester character Oliver
asking Harry Secombe....'Please Sir, can I have some more' ,
he tricked poor Steve Ward into empathy.

The A-Ward of the penalty put the player in between a rock and a hard plaice.

And that's just the offerings of Snack Shack Holvey's Pie Hole.

If he scored -he was likely to be booed more than a Radley by the home crowd, but if he missed he would receive the anger and ridicule of his teammates for not scoring past a
Subbuteo player.

To kill a MockingWard.

Poor Man....a Ward of the Court of Requests.

But the stage was set for a 'Twist' in the tale.

To the loudest soprano cheer heard from the Park Chapel End since the visit of
Aled Jones for the filming of the 1985 Songs of Praise, clearly there was 'something in the air' and not just the smell of Ariana Grande perfume.

It was the Heaven-Scent, female fan club of Ed Hewitson that is now in attendance at the Home Matches.

It was a crucial turning point in the game, as whilst our Ed went up -their heads went down.

And less than five minutes later, Merthyr had two in the Bush, as a combination of an upright Harry Franklin and the electric Ian Traylor led to a close range header from
Anti-Bic Campaigner Ryan Prosser.

With a half-time cushion of two goals and with the away side Lang-uishing in the lower half of the table but safe from the Dunstable/Gosport Celebrity Death Match finale, the feeling of the crowd was that Merthyr had the points in the bag.

As the second half started , a correct but regrettable offside decision robbed Kerry Morgan of the goal his performance so richly deserved, before the Holy Beard completed the Merthyr Trinity, after yet another assist from the outstanding Ian Traylor.

The Kings Langley defence had no way of marking the live wire, whose vapour Traylors were less traceable than democratic Parliamentary support for the recent bombing of Syria.

With a third in the net, Merthyr like Grand National Winner Tiger Roll ( guess who backed him at 10/1- ? Clue: my last winner was Lucius 25/1 in 1978) took their foot of the gas and allowed the also-rans back into the race.

With Adam Davies now resting on the Merthyr bench, the path was clear for Kings Langley striker Mitchell Weiss to dance his way through the Merthyr defence and fire home passed the helpless Ed to pull one back.

The Merthyr Noise suddenly went quiet, as the Hills no longer were alive with the sound of music - as Weiss was no longer idle.

But another Swansea Jack was to save Merthyr from collapsing Slough Town-style to the power of the Comeback Kings.

Like Rory Mcilroy selecting a club foot, young Scott Tancock lifted a peach of a ball across the box only to be met with diamond precision from the Black n Decker drill-bit swede of the Rhonddaite for 4-1.

In what was a clean game to savour with little fouling ( apart from one Ian Traylor cheesy nibble from behind) frustration built up in the Away defence which saw the hard-working
Jorell Johnson getting his hair-off in the sweltering on-pitch temperatures.

With so many retired but sweaty policemen in the was a 'Hot Fuzz' moment that nearly landed him in trouble with the local vocal yokels.

Fortunately, it didn't 'overshadow' Kerry Morgan's wonderful exhibition of distribution.

Even if the towering defender did leave him in the cool shade.

The Swansea Jack was back to being the King of the Hills.



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Post  GordonTheGopher on Mon Apr 16, 2018 3:04 am

Good report Boz, but just one senior moment Pros scored his two goals in the first half 40' and 44' 3-1 at halftime.

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Post  Boz1964 on Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:09 am

Thank you Gord,

Having sat next to me for the last five or so years, you should know that my grip on reality is at best marginal and my recollection of score lines is limited during the match duration, let alone after the final whistle.

Besides, I think you are under the misapprehension that I actually WATCH the game.

You may especially recall one fixture this season due to having a dodgy prostate ( Superfan Nigel from Bristol has agreed to leave both his valve and his beard to me as a legacy in his Will) I missed not one but TWO goals to the delight of the multitude of fans around me in our stand.

I genuinely thought that you evil swines were winding me up, until I went home and found we had won 3-0 and not 1-0 as I thought.

Apologies - we all make mistakes, as my late Mother kept reminding me.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be here to amuse or annoy other forum users.


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